Sharp teeth, soft furr, appetite like a horse. Spooky, a golden retriever, born August 18 2011, is now part of this family.
He’s learning, I’m learning, and it aint all fun but totally worth it.
Seems to me, the larger the ocean of web gets, the farther apart the islands of community drift.
The more places there are to visit, the less time we have for each place we find. Spindly bridges are built to connect isolated places of paradise, somewhere that could be utopia, to the crowded cold and strictly paved parking lots they call “Like”.
Why do we crowd in cities that, in the best case scenario, will connect us with those we may form friendships with, and in worst case, alienate us from those who truly care and those who have things to say that might make a difference.
Why do we need to be “liked” to matter?
Why do we need to be “friends” with people we don’t know, and wouldn’t want to meet, wouldn’t write an email to, or call on the phone? Is that not the kind of “friends” that crowd your Facebook friend list? Honestly?
Why do we need some enormous community machine to tell us we are worth something?
Because what happens if noone has the time, or enough incentive to click on your needy like request, if noone has the time to look at your uploaded image? Do you feel compelled to “share”, “share”, and “share” again, until you feel confirmed as being truly “Liked”?
Facebook is not human. Facebook friends are not real friends.
Your total “Like” count does NOT make you better, prettier, funnier, more popular, or in truth any more likeable.
So why do we fall into that trap?
Facebook is a tool, not a force of humanity.
Facebook is a monster.
Facebook makes us less, not more.
I look for needles in arrays of…
Was there ever a pattern?
Did I have it all queued correctly at one point, or was that only what I was told?
When creating the bookmark, the to-do list, the reminder, the play list.
Pixilated troops shove me.
Toward tables of hasty content
Irritated, frustrated, powerless, cleverly manipulated.
Voluntarily bending over.
I negotiate untaught patterns,
While sidestepping road signs,
Obscuring whatever view there might have been.
They block my avatar from posting correctly.
You shout “Find your way!”
But you second guess me,
Say you believe in me,
And ten thousand others,
Just as unique as me.
How lucky must I not be?
You annoy me.
You irritate me.
You advice me to be what I would never be.
Banners, directions, arrows, commands
You block my view but insist on intruding.
For my sake?
I don’t think so.
I don’t remember…
Cluttered avenues, Nested paths, numbered maps.
No road in sight.
Spiders inspect streams; analyze virtually everywhere I’ve been.
For my well-being?
I don’t think so
Bugs. Everywhere bugs.
I see no life
Words, everywhere words.
I see no plot
Where is the synopsis, the cover letter, the correct format, the author bio?
I don’t think so
What is the diffference between a dummy and an idiot?
As far s dictionaries go , here are some definitions:
Definition of “dummy” found at: Oxford Dictionaries Online
noun (plural dummies)
1 a model or replica of a human being:a waxwork dummy
a figure used for displaying or fitting clothes:a tailor’s dummy
a ventriloquist’s doll.
2 an object designed to resemble and serve as a substitute for the real or usual one:tests using stuffed owls and wooden dummies[as modifier] :a dummy torpedo
British a rubber or plastic teat for a baby to suck on.
a prototype or mock-up, especially of a book or the layout of a page.
a blank round of ammunition.
[as modifier] Grammardenoting a word that has no semantic content but is used to maintain grammatical structure:a dummy subject as in ‘it is’ or ‘there are’
3 (chiefly in rugby and soccer) a feigned pass or kick intended to deceive an opponent.
4 informal , chiefly North American a stupid person.
5 Bridgethe declarer’s partner, whose cards are exposed on the table after the opening lead and played by the declarer.
Bridgethe exposed hand of the declarer’s partner.
an imaginary fourth player in whist:[as modifier] :dummy whist
Definition of “idiot” found at: Oxford Dictionaries Online
a stupid person.
archaic a person of low intelligence.
Ok, with that out of the way. Here is my take on it.
A dummy can learn. If they couldn’t, then why would there be so many “for dummies” books out there?
Dummies are aware of their own dummy status and will happily admit being one.
An idiot learns only in very small steps, and only after making serious mistakes.
Idiots are rarely ready to admit to and embrace the idiot status, because if they did, they would turn into dummies.
So what are you? A dummy or an idiot.
the social idiot / writing dummy.
You know, I hate cooking.
Sometimes however, I get a bright idea.
I do like pickles. Dill pickles….. Um, and other types. Recently I did the google thing to find out how to pickle stuff. I would love to do my own dill pickles.
After a while I realized something; pickling is work. So I said to myself: Eek!” and closed the browser. I’m not that interested anymore. Oh, it’s not that hard really but it has to do with sterilizing jars and I do have a problem with boiling water. So there. No homemade dill pickles for me and I’m not all that depressed over it.
But here is a little something I made the other night, a quick veggie pickle mix with a definite bite. I will do it again and perhaps develop a recipe that makes sense for people who actually know something about cooking, which I happily admit that I don’t.
The nice thing about this little side dish is that it’s easy to make, tastes great and tastes even better the next day as long as you remember to put it in the fridge over night.
Quick pickle mix with bite.
How to make it:
Demolish 1 fairly large, normal cucumber of your preferred type.
Slice, dice, cube, whatever you fancy.
Treat two or three tomatoes the same way.
Cut one garlic clove into those tiny tiny sticky pieces.
Put all that in a bowl or container of your choice.
Now, mix two parts white vinegar with three parts water. Go with more water to make it a tiny bit mellower if you want.
Add some sugar, salt, a squirt of lemon juice and a squeeze of mustard.
Amounts are all up to you. In my first try I used a teaspoon of sugar and ten shakes of the salt shaker for about two cups of vinegar stuff, Perhaps a teaspoon each of regular mustard and lemon juice.
I should have used more perhaps but it turned out good so I won’t stray too far from that formula.
Mix all of that together and cover, put it in the fridge. It really needs to be served cold so either make it before starting supper, or leave it until the next day, which I recommend.
The kitchen idiot.
On the grill
This is a page of constant confusion.
In case you haven’t noticed I never quite know what I’m doing.
but hey, it’s a space evolving,a mutation or two is part of the problem solving.
Perhaps it will some day give me a nominal absolution.
For past sins and current atrocities where I bite off heads.
and Kick them with a solid soccer agility I’ve practiced.
With friend as well as foe.
Oh “humbug”, you squeal in huffy indignation as you bounce, once, then twice and land on top a hotbed of coals.,.
“Why are you so cruel, you maggoty stew of unpredictable emotion?”
You stare blankly, tilted to one side, no doubt it’s dizzying to be skewed, skewered, placed on a grill.
But I have no empathy for sizzling meat, in a way it always makes me ill.
I turn from your bobbin, throbbing sobbing part removed.
But as staring turns boiling but nonetheless so frank next to the hot spicy jumbo dog.
I start to snicker, to giggle, to convulse in despair-like hysterics.
But what can I do but excuse my actions and rinse out my gum with bleach.
Sorry I bit off the top of your being but please let me turn you to releave you from seeing.
Perhaps I could add a little bit of tomato, zucchini, a pinch of paprika.
To cover the burning hair reek.
I have insulted you plenty I’m sure but tasty you will be with a side-dish of mutilated cabbage I know.
Let me get back to my website of constant confusion.
I’ll leave you to simmer as I give this poem its attribution.
Yes, I admit.
this was totally inspired by one of my favorite stories on Protagonize This Tragic Infection ” (by SeeThomasHowl) on Protagonize, a creative writing community.
Wonderful collaborative work, funny as hell, skillfully written by several different protagonize authors. Absolutely fantastic creation.