It’s okay to not be okay. Attitudes change, that’s great. But is it? Is the word Anxiety losing its meaning?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

It’s okay to not be okay

It is isn’t it?
Well, in one very important sense it is; it’s okay to not have it all together. Mental illness is something so many of us deal with and it’s the new normal to some degree. Not that it’s something people are comfortable talking about, but it’s getting better.

True. Yes?

But I’ve noticed something a bit odd and quite disconcerting. I admit, this is my perspective and I do not speak for you or anyone else. These are just thoughts that have come up lately. I’m not even sure if it’s an actual viewpoint, a definite opinion, if it’s something that has actually changed in the last few years, or If I’m just completely full of it.

So here it is.

Yes, mental illness is okay to deal with, to admit having issues with. Everything from slight social anxiety to serious cases of OCD and beyond where serious medication is needed. I think it’s going the right way if nothing else.
but the first thing I find myself uncharitable enough to think at times is that, “If everyone and their aunt claims to have anxiety, then what does the word “anxiety” actually mean in real life for me?” The odd thing is that if I tell someone that I have anxiety, Joe Blow down the block might say “Oh, that’s okay, we’ve all got that. Pot helps with that these days, doesn’t it? I get anxious all the time. You should take a walk or something. Join a club or whatever.”

Sigh.

the thing is; I don’t think Joe Blow down the block knows what anxiety is. he most certainly doesn’t know what an anxiety attack does to a person. Or how crippling social anxiety can be. Or how stress hormones in the body from cronic anxiety will make you sick, physically. It’s not something to be taken lightly. Joe, I know you mean well, but before you minimize the suffering of those who actually do suffer, you might want to talk to a few of those who know what it’s like.

Really, I do feel like my anxiety, which is both crippling and makes me physically sick, and prevents me from doing so many of the things I deep down wish I could do, gets viewed as nothing more than a slight case of being a bit scared or nervous. Oh, everyone has anxiety these days, no big deal. If it gets bad, there’s pot, and there are drugs. What’s the big deal?

Now, you tell me, am I being fair?

let me know in the comments if you think, as I do, that just the normalizing of the word “anxiety” has made it pretty much meaningless. Or maybe I’m thinking about this a bit screwy, then tell me that.

Jen

Music: Demo of “Hey, it’s okay.” by JennyK.
‘s

New album coming – Icarus machine – jennyK – Melodic Metal – Early access to our music on patreon- You! The time to join is now. :)

Reading Time: < 1 minute

Icarus machine and Corium – Join us on Patreon

So Corium, our second album, has been in the works for two years. It is finally ready. The release date is yet to be determined. Even after the music is done, there are so many things to do.
Some of those things do carry a cost. And that’s where you come in. We need you to join us in making this happen without too much pain.
So why not support your favourite webmaster and her band?
When you support Icarus machine — the band, you also support JennyK and The House of Imp. And let’s be honest; you might hate prog-metal. Or any metal come to that. You might even hate steam-punk fiction. But that’s perfectly fine. This creator of music, words, and the House of Imp website just needs support to do what she loves to do. Becoming a patron is the easiest way to give your support. It’s easy for me and easy for you. When you join patreon and decide to support your favourite creator, you give up a few of dollars every month. And that, believe it or not, makes a difference.

So here is where you can go to do just that. Become a patron- It’ll make you feel good

Thank you for reading. Hope to see you soon.

jenny

Dissonance – New from Icarus machine – Melodic Metal – Written by JennyK

Patent Wing machine
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Dissonance – Single

by Icarus machine 2018
Written by Jenny K Brennan.
With guitars, mixing, mastering and production by Bill Babcock.
With the always amazing Jordi Ribas on the bass.

While we ramp up work for our next major release, -We give you Dissonance.

Patrons are awesome and you could be one of them. check this out:

You can get “Dissonance” and selected pre-release tracks from the upcoming album as well as the audio blurb, JennyK on dissonance if you support us on patreon.

About this song:

Dissonance is a song that defies genre. It’s prog-rock, goth-rock, emo, and a bit of experimental. but mostly it’s defined by the emotional tension and disregard for standards that is typical JennyK. I’m glad to have Icarus Machine with its own particular style of metal produce this song.

JennyK

Lyrics:

Dissonance
Lyrics by jenny K Brennan

I said hi, I said hello, I said I think that I need you.
You said hey, you said sure, what do you need me for?
I said oh, never mind, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.
I’ll do it on my own.

It takes two to pitch a proper fight.
It takes two to propagate a lie.
It takes two to pose a question.
It takes two to play a proper game.
It takes two to make someone believe.
It takes two to build a connection.
But only one to shut it down.

At the end of the day I just wanted someone to know me.
At the end of my song I am dissonant.
At the edges I’m frayed.
At the end of the night I just wanted somewhere to belong.
A place where I can always go.
At the end of the day I just wanted you to hear me in my dissonance.

It takes two to pitch a proper fight.
It takes two to validate a lie.
It takes two to make a friendship.
but only one to let it die.
It takes two to play a proper game.
It takes two to make someone believe.
It takes two to build a connection.

At the end of the day I just wanted someone to care that I feel at the end of my line.
I don’t know what’s beyond here, beyond here.
At the end of the day I just wanted someone to know me.
At the end of the day I just want to know I matter.
To you.

It takes two to pitch a proper fight.
It takes two to propagate a lie.
It takes two to change perception.
But only one to see it my way.
It takes two to play a proper game.
It takes two to build connection.
but only one to break it down.

This separation is all mine.
Anxiety is blind.
I know in my mind you’re all around.
But at the end of the day it’s just me, myself, and I.
In your voice I hear reason.
In your absence I hear treason.
After all, that’s what I came to know.

It takes two to pick a different fight.
It takes two to ease somebody’s fright.
It takes two to make perfection.
But only one to deny.
It takes two to start a different game.
It takes two to build another faith.
It takes to to make connection.
but only one to break it down.

I said hi, I said hello, I said I think that I need you.
You said hey, you said sure, what do you need me for?
I said hi, I said hello, I said I think that I need you.
Hello?

Icarus Machine – Sundered Records 2018

The Trials – A Kompoz collaboration – JennyK Original

The trials image - A very much dead bride
Reading Time: 2 minutes

The trials – A Kompoz collaboration – (JennyK original)

Released July 16 2015
Art/prog- rock

Collaboration page

Collaborators

This would not have been the same without Kompoz.com
vincentsaling from Strasbourg Alsace France gave this song real life with his beautiful guitar work.
From Scotland; Nigel Robinson a.k.a Gemini added that beautiful smooth Bass and a final touch of strings
Thank you both for being part of this long in coming track.
JennyK -Songwriting, lyrics, vocals, various keys and pads, drums, mixing, mastering

Lyrics

This death of mine leaves me unsatisfied
But the darkness inside me is moving
and the thing that is me, the thing that was me
You burned my ass but don’t you worry
Don’t you worry
I won’t hurry

You burned my ass but don’t you worry

My body makes no sound down there in the ground
Where you laid me down
But you pray
You pray that I’ll stay
Dead, dead, dead, dead
Don’t you worry, i won’t hurry
I just bide my time
I bide my time
Cause my body makes no sound

This cold cold heart leaves me
Hungering, craving
There comes a day
There comes a day
Your flesh and your blood will satisfy me
This thing that was me
This thing that is me
Dead
You burned my ass
Dead
But don’t you worry, don’t you worry

My body made no sound as you lay me down
Into the ground and now you’re praying
My body made no sound as you lay me down
Into the ground
And now you’re praying I’ll be staying

There was a time
A life I can’t recall
But there must have been
I must have been

Reaching out from a flaming pire
A life tainted by lies
Chastised by fire
Screaming from out of endless punishment
A life broken by faith
Twisted by your beliefs

Then I left that pain
I left that life behind
But I’ll never forget
Dying

Your body makes no sound as I lay you down, Into the ground,
And you’re praying
Your body makes no sound as I lay you down, into the ground
Your body makes no sound as I lay you down, into the ground
There’s no time in hell
Your body makes no sound as I lay you down
I’ll see you around
Into the ground
Your body makes no sound as I lay you down
Hush now
Into the ground
Your body makes no sound as I lay you down
I bide my time
Into the ground
Your body makes no sound

Thanks for listening.
JennyK, Gemini, and Vincent at Kompoz.

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