A network of complications
Doubts. So what the hell is this shit for anyways?
Damn if i really know.
They creep and they circle and they patrol.
they well up like a sour knot or a hundred insects biting, up through the stomach through the bodytenses everything up.
Sometimes it’s so slow. And so sinister that you don’t even know.
And not knowing. How do you know what it’s about. You don’t.
You have to dive deep to find any rational reasons for that feeling.
That uneasiness, that anxiety but for the most part it’s not worth it.
It has to be stopped. You have to stop obsessing. Stop the thoughts in their tracks and just stop.
There are ways to do that. To relax. People have tricks. To get out of it. And I have mine.
But they’re always lurking. Always there.
But what is this for then?
Every time I talk for a few minutes I end up with a feeling of release. A liberating freedom of mind.
I feel relaxed, I feel better. Because what I say; It clears something up.
And that is why I do this.
This mini series of monologues about… what
Well, me I guess. I talk to myself, with myself, about how I feel.
Because I can’t talk to many other people about it.
So. It does help. Believe it or not; it does help.?
And that’s why I’m doing this.
And maybe, maybe someone will hear it and recognize themselves and feel better.
Jenny K Brennan Dec 22 2013